Thursday, July 16, 2009

NOT ALL OPPORTUNITIES ARE GREAT!

A Life full of miseries, A world filled with sorrows, a mind saturated by confusions, and a heart stuffed with emptiness. These are the things that can illustrate my status at the moment. Why? all because of WORK! A work that is suffocating my mind with a lot of questions, a work that sucks my brain with anger, a work that made my life miserable and unhappy.

I always dream of so many things in my life, and most of them with the love and grace of the Lord did realized, especially my longing to become a teacher. But sometimes, some opportunities are not great! I thought when God will give you what you want, You will be endlessly be happy, but I proved it wrong with my present situation now.

I am not hapy with my environment, may be because I am still looking for a better one that will suffice my needs, maybe because I cannot please every people inside eventhough I;m trying to please them. Maybe because I was overshadowed by my loneliness which makes me deteriorates as day passed by.

I am always very proud of myself, because all the jobs that I've been came through did like my performance very well, I guess it is because of my sincere dedication and determination with my work and my unending support in the undertakings in the organization. These attitudes which I possessed gave way to me to face a huge opportunities which will compensate my commitment.

It is always been certain and not a doubt that I already wanted to leave my organization now because of a lot of reasons, I don't see myself staying here for a longer period, I believe there are still a lot of things I have to learn outside which will give me more great blessings. But God tested my being firm with my decision of going out and explore myself in a new environment, just last week, I was informed and offered by my coordinator to be the new coordinator for next year;s new course in our school, BS in Accounting Technology, it is a 4 year accounting leading to Bachelor of Science in Accountancy. It is actually a big break for me as I am going to handle one of the in demand course in town. My coordinator even stressed out that I am the only person which is more deserving for the position, she even suggested to me that I should take right away the board exam so that I will be promoted as DEAN afterwards, ( I am the youngest DEAN if ever in the history at an age of 24 ) Wow!I felt the intense pressure inside thinking that it is a big challenge. KAYA KO KIA? is just the question that slips my mind and I said " KAYA KO AKO PA" but upon arriving home, I felt that there is somebody whispering to my ears saying " Think of it still, you might be entering a wrong way" I didn't ignored those words which I actually heard, but those words became a realization to me that I should examine first what I am going to enter to. I consulted some priests and some religious people and close friends. And they all have the same advice, " Follow what your heart speaks and not what your mind dictates" my heart speaks that I have to leave already the school because i am not anymore happy because of the people, crab mentality do exist in short which sucks my head a lot. But my mind dictates that I have to stay, because I am still needed by my students because of the knowledge I give.

After 1 week of realizations and reflections, I already made up my mind to one decision, to follow my heart... that is to refuse the job promotion and leave the organization sooner or later. I feel that if I am going to stay, my life will be more miserable and will be shadowed with darkness. I decided to find a new environment which is more PEACEFUL, HAPPY and FULFILLING ONE. this only proves one thing with my decision, others may say that I am TANGA because opportunities do come seasonally so u better grab it. But in my case, I declined the opoortunity and yet chose my freedom, a freedom that will lead me to my real happiness. Not all opportunities are great is what i learned in this circumstance in my life, that sometimes do positions are deceiving to hear but still you still weigh if that is really make you happy.

I don't have to be a coordinator to prove something, in fact being offered to be one as coordinator is already such a pleasure and assurance that i'm doing well in my profession and that the management do really see my unending dedication to my work. I feel sorry to those people who are trying to pull me down because of the blessings that are coming way thorugh my life " Ika Nga - "KUNG SAAN KAYO MASAYA, GAWIN NIYO, KUNG MASAYA KAYO MANIRA NG TAO PARA LANG MASIRA ANG ISANG KASAMA, BAHALA KAYO! ISA LANG ANG PINANINIWALAAN KO, SABI NI JESUS ANG TAONG PILIT NA BINABABA ANG ISANG TAO PARA MAKUHA ANG GUSTO EH HINDING HINDI MAGTATAGUMPAY! MAPUNTA KA MAN SA POSITION, HINDI KARIN MAGIGING MASAYA... SABI NGA NI JESUS MAPALAD ANG MGA MAPAGKUMBABA DAHIL SILA ANG PINAGPAPALA, KAYA NANINIWALA AKO NA AKO AY PAGPAPALAIN!"

I don't have any regrets of declining the position, I can still achieve that into other organizations and I believe it is much better than this. I'm sure these " GOOD People? are already happy, CONGRATS! GOD BE WITH YOU GUYS!